My main motivation to attend college is my family. Ever since I was little my grandparents had this insight of me that I was going to become a doctor or someone who would save lives so when I grew up I wouldn’t have to go through that struggle that they experienced, basically wishing me the best for my future. Which I understand because they raised 12 kids off of my grandfather growing rice and putting them through school. And then it brings me to my mom and dad, hearing their stories of what circustances they had to go through to get from the barrios of the philippines to becoming a middle class american citizen, took a lot of hard work to strive for my brother and I to have a better future. My dad went to work abroad, at Saudi Arabia and Micronesia for ten years leaving my mom and brother behind. Later on my mom went to the states leaving my brother behind when he was five-years-old. Struggling to reach the “american dream.”
I have an older brother who is ten years older than me. He’s one of those naturally smart one’s who don’t need to study to get a good grade on a test. He’s gone from community college to community college trying to get his AA done, then took a long break from school. Economy is slumming down and he quits his job so now he’s back to square one. My parents give him a ultamtum of either go back to school and they’ll pay for everything or not go to school and they won’t give him any money to go to school ever again. So he chose to go to school in a nursing program. I was happy he made his decision to help benefit him later on in the future. Here’s where the twist comes, my dreams of going to SF state, dorm life after high school was crushed because my parents couldn’t afford for both of us to go to the school we wanted to go to. So I agreed to sacraficed going to SF state so my brother can go through his nursing program. I wanted my brother to benefit but at the same time I was a little bitter about the outcome. My perspective on it was that here was my turn to go through the college deal that I wanted and my chance was delayed so my brother can pick up where he left off.
I eventually got over it. A month later into the program he decides that he doesn’t want to do the whole nursing program anymore because of the difficulty. Once I found this out I was exploding inside with anger. Then dissappointment came along realizing that I was looking forward to seeing him accomplish something. Although I didn’t realized that I wasn’t the only one dissappointed when I turn to look at my parents. With him it was dissappointment after dissappointment, I know he means well and he feels bad for puttng them through this but I guess he has to do some quick soul searching to find his niche. This motivates me to do well in college to make my parents proud of their hard work to get us where we are. I want to give them something they are proud of. In a way it’s somewhat of a fear to end up like my brother, still living at home, living off of my parents, dissappointments. And I can feel the pressure from my parents to make them proud of what they raised, for me to succeed. I may sound harsh on my brother but it’s just been too long to live that kind of lifestyle. He gave me some advice to learn from his mistakes, which I plan to apply to motivate me. Everything happens for a reason and its just the whole fun in life to see the outcome of everything.
